Scary Genius

Movin' on.

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:21:55 GMT

Seriously. Don't be a darn fool. Go to my new blog at http://jerik.tumblr.com.

It's just like this blog except a lot more videos, audio, photos, etc. I still write quite a bit as well. DOY!

http://jerik.tumblr.com.

While you're at it, follow me on Twitter. http://www.twitter.com/scarygenius.

Now get out there and make me proud!

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:23:18 GMT

I just got an email saying that someone requested a password change for my Livejournal. In other words someone tried to log in and couldn't figure it out.

What's the deal with that?

Anyhow, in an event that is completely unrelated to the password thing, I have chosen to move to Tumblr.com.

http://jerik.tumblr.com

All one of you: Adjust your bookmark accordingly.

I'm still not sure of what I'll be doing the Livejournal. I might have Tumblr be me regular blog and LJ be my tour blog. I will most likely be reposting some favorite things from here onto Tumblr. I don't know!? What do YOU think I should do?

Disney Pixar's "Up"

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 23:15:49 GMT

I’m of the mind that beyond the age of three or so you should be able to deal with the concept of seeing a movie having read or heard something about its storyline beforehand, but I realize that most people don’t feel this way. That being said I will make preface this whole thing with a simple, “SPOILER ALERT.” Also, if you’re a little behind, John Locke is in the casket, douchebag.

Up:

I’ve been a vocal hater of Pixar movies for along time. I remember Toy Story being chosen by class vote to be watched one day during the last week of 5th grade, and being furious about it. “What is this bullshit? Tim Allen?! COME ON!” I thought. Ok I don’t remember for sure, but I probably thought that. I’ve always hated Tim Allen. I watched the (toy) story unfold, and realized that I didn’t give a fuck about jealousy between two talking toys. In fact, I was more concerned with the fact that these toys were interacting in the first place. Were they Hindus resurrected as lesser beings? Were they possessed in some way? I may have been young but I’d already seen Puppet Master and I was very, very concerned. Eventually I saw Monsters, Inc. which was horrifying and Finding Nemo, which featured a main character that I would have flushed down the toilet without remorse. I was even vegetarian at the time! I wrote a haiku called “Pixar Movies” which I will now present here.

Pixar Movies
by Jon-Erik Hendrickson

Came home to find them
watching Monsters, Inc again.
Gonna take a dump.

I suppose this is all beside the point.

It was with slight reluctance that I agreed to accompany some friends to Up. I’d seen the trailer (strangely, I saw it before Terminator Salvation. It should be noted that a Pixar trailer will immediately put an end even the stiffest time-travel action boner) and it looked decent enough. Certainly the first Pixar movie that appeared even remotely interesting to me. I figured I’d put by hatred aside for once and check it out.

A digital short called Partly Cloudy played before the movie began. These people over at Pixar are clearly on drugs. Apparently storks and cloud-people are working together in creating and distributing all living creatures down to Earth. Sound like some weird sci-fi? Wait till I tell you that (and this is just my opinion) one stork named Peck is being sent by Gus, a cloud-person, on continual involuntary suicide missions but keeps surviving. Nice! So far, I wasn’t lamed out.

Without retelling the whole movie, Up is about an old man, Mr. Fredrickson who for various good reasons, decides to turn his entire house into an aircraft by attaching thousands of balloons to it. His destination is South America. After taking off he discovers that a boy scout by the name of Russell, hell bent on earning his “assisting the elderly” badge is aboard the makeshift aircraft. I’m not sure where Mr. F lives but it must have been Panama because they complete the trip in like a day. Suffice it to say a bunch of crazy shit happens. Giant birds, talking dogs, an evil dude, etc. In my opinion Mr. F becomes a murderer, and Russell an accessory to murder. They don’t focus on this in the movie, though. They don’t even mention it actually. Self-defense or not, they are a bunch of goddamn murderers! They also never deal with the whole “Oh hey, sorry I took your kid to South America for a few days and had him dangling out of my helium balloon house thing multiple times. Oh also, he watched me make a man fall to his death. Are you mad? Please don‘t be mad!” No big deal though.

Of course I’m just being a big jerk about a lot of this. I have to admit, I enjoyed Up. I even found myself smiling and laughing, which I haven’t done in years. Maybe I’ll rewatch those older Pixar movies and see if my cold, blackened heart has been compromised. But probably not. Maybe I’ve lightened up through the years. Camus taught me that life is meaningless. Sartre taught me that hell is other people. Mr. Fredrickson taught me that if life gets me down, I can take my balloon-house to South America and kill a guy, and we’ll all be better for it. Thank you, Mr. Fredrickson. Now if you’ll come this way the police would like to ask you a few questions.

IFKYRMM

Tue, 26 May 2009 20:49:01 GMT

Today as I was driving, I saw a newer blue car parked on the street with the license plate "2SMRT4U". I said aloud to myself, "At least I know how to spell 'you', asshole!"

Dispatch from the edge

Tue, 12 May 2009 19:30:19 GMT

I WILL RETURN SHORTLY

Evytin

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:32:45 GMT

4-13-09 - Bismarck, ND

After being in Fargo for about 7 hours, we left for our show in Bismarck. We brought a dude named Nick with us. Nice guy. The drive was fairly uneventful. Got into a debate with Josh over whether or not Dave Grohl says “Sergeant Harry” in the song My Hero. He doesn’t. Never has. That’s ridiculous. However, upon researching the matter it is apparently a commonly misheard lyric. Weird.

When we got to Bismarck my mother had a giant feast awaiting us. It was awesome. We all gorged ourselves. Usually it’s just me but this time EVERYONE ate too much. We were devastated and it was awesome since we still had several hours until we played. We had time to recover.

I was surprised to see my parents purchased a brand new hookah. Dedicated readers (that’s a joke) might remember on the last tour I tried hookah for the first time in Goshen, IN. So, either my parents are incredibly hip (very probable) or former hippies tapping into the glory days (also probable). Ha. Either way my parents got a hookah and that’s pretty fuckin’ cool by my standards.

We hit up the Light Club to digest. I hadn’t played in Bismarck in several years and I hadn’t played at the Light Club in even longer. There was one point where I actually claimed I would never play the Light Club again. However, the Hands gig is technically a job, and the place appears to be under control of different, less money hungry people now so I’m not going to sweat it. The newly renovated place didn’t even resemble the old one. It was weird.

Upon using the bathroom there I realized it was the same bathroom from the old version of the building. When I played my first show there nearly ten years ago with Nova-86, we set up and had a few minutes before we had to play. I had to use the bathroom so I did. The toilet apparently couldn’t handle my hatred of trees and ended up clogging. As the water rose within the bowl I began to freak out -- NO PLUNGER. I did the only thing I possibly good. Yes. I unclogged it with my hand. Please bare in mind it was clogged due to paper, not due to some inhuman log. Still, it’s gross nonetheless. Super gross. Ashamed, I washed my hands and played the show with a little smile on my face. I should have said, “Hey we’re Nova-86 and I probably just touched my turds,” but once again, that’s gross.

The show was great. Plenty of people showed up, which is cool for a weeknight. Saw several Bismarck types that I never see. It’s weird to think that I’m now one of the old dudes at Bismarck shows. It was good to see the War of Ages guys again. I’m always laughing when they’re around. Also, Sean Murray came! Although he couldn’t make it until we had finished playing, it’s always awesome to see the dude, of course.

After the show we found out that the interstate was closed between Bismarck and Jamestown. Everyone else seemed convinced that if we spent the night in Bismarck we’d be stuck there for several days. So, we took a ridiculous alternate route. The trip took about 7 hours. Of course other bands, who stayed in hotel rooms that night, woke up the next day and came to Fargo with no real complication. Awesome.

Another one down. We don’t roll out again till June. I decided during this tour that from now on I’ll be keeping two journals. One like what I’ve been doing and one more personal one that won’t be public for a while. Stay tuned.

Wall to wall action

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:27:15 GMT

4-12-09 - Buffalo, MN

Not much to say on this one. I am cursed as far as driving the van. The GPS takes me into every construction zone or no-longer-existent street available when I’m behind the wheel. What? Turn right? But those are train tracks. I swear if that British bitch says “recalculating” one more time I’m going to flip the fuck out. Ugh.

We got to the Vault, not expecting much. The last time we played there was phenomenal, but this time it was Easter Sunday, AND there was a record breaking show there just days prior with 450 in attendance. With the odds against us, we came close to smashing that record to pieces. About 15 people paid to get in, and man did it get hard to move around in there without smashing into someone!

We got a buyout to go get food. I’m getting increasingly depressed when I encounter the “This is meal time and the only option is a gas station” situation. A lot of gas stations don’t even have items that you could consider a meal. I’m not going to be satisfied on a bag of Funyuns and an RC Cola. Not when I haven’t eaten all day. So frustrating. I walked to a grocery store across the venue and set up a mortgage for the sandwich I bought. Not sure why it was so costly but it was all there was. Fuck it, it’s the last real day of the tour.

I still don’t know why or how this show happened. Four bands, none of which were local, one of which ended up not being able to make it, on Easter Sunday, after the biggest show in the history of the venue. Yikes. We all played our little hearts out to those that were there. It was good to see the guys in No Wings to Speak Of, who are quite enjoyable people. I envy Sam and his wife because they’ve made their own way in life. They run a business that has gotten them a nice home. It’s their only source of income and they only answer to themselves. I like that. I want that.

During our set, Josh managed to spit on me twice. Awesome. It’s cool that he gets so into the music that he can disregard the fact that I’m a fucking human being who doesn’t deserve to be spit on, and just spit wherever he happens to be facing when he gets the urge. Someone explain to me the need to spit on stage. I’ve been playing in bands since I was 12 years old and I’ve never been on stage and felt the need to spit. In fact I’ve never been in any situation anywhere where I thought “Man, I’m really sweaty and out of breath from this strenuous activity, I need to spit.“ Seriously. Explain it to me. Enlighten me. Give me a reason other than “It’s an attempt at looking cool.” If I catch another gob, there will be repercussions.

During No Wings’ set, Waldy decided he was going to do a move where he jumped off the stage and sprung himself off the wall back onto the stage. As he was running towards the initial jump I remember thinking “No. Don’t jump. No. Don’t do it!” He did it, and a second later there was a brand new giant hole in the wall a few inches from my head. Great job, Waldy. Or shall I say, WALLdy. Heh.

We went to Fargo after the show. It’s always weird getting back home. For some reason, Zerr stole my pillow while I was away and was fast asleep. I left my other one in the van. Great to be back.

New Jeriff in town

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 04:47:35 GMT

4-11-09

Normally I wouldn’t write an entry on a day off, but today just takes the cake as far as interesting stories.

We left Warrensburg, MO to drive to Minneapolis, MN. Our next show is Sunday in Buffalo, MN and the band has a friend in Minneapolis we can stay with. Nothing to interesting about that. We stop at a gas station in a town called Raytown, MO. Some of us are sitting in the van, waiting for the others to come out when we feel the whole van lurch forward a little bit. Someone had backed into the trailer. Shane ran out and caught up with them since they looked like they were about to drive away. Four wannabe gangster types get out of the car and start talking to Shane, who is obviously upset that they just smashed a light off the trailer. The kid driving gives him some line about how he wants to just pay him out of his pocket, since he doesn’t have insurance and it’s “not even his car.” Shane tells them that’s not going to fly, and that they’re going to do the normal, reasonable thing and file a police report, etc, etc. They aren’t cool with that at all. One guy started getting aggressive, throwing out a barrage of racial epithets that would probably make your mother blush. JR, our merch dude, who also happens to be a photographer, immediately hopped out and covertly snapped pictures of their car, their license plate, their FACES, the damage on the trailer, everything. They had no idea. I’ve never seen a more Johnny On the Spot situation. So Shane tells them he’s going to go inside to get the number for the police and start getting everything taken care of and that they need to stay right where they are parked. Of course they don’t. They take off. A police officer comes and starts taking down all of our information since we’re all witnesses, etc. This guy was great. He overheard us talking about how stupid these guys must be to have thought we didn’t take down their license plate or anything, and he chimes in with, “Yall must not have dipshits up in North Dakota, huh?” We shared a hearty chuckle.

It turns out these dudes were rolling in a stolen car. While he’s taking down our information he gets a call on his radio and informs us that “They found the car and the dumbasses actually stopped!” After getting all the info down and the whole scenario figured out, we followed him a mile or two away where they had them standing in line along the curb, handcuffed. It was certainly them, although one of the dudes was gone and there was a girl in his place. Turns out the two not driving had warrants out for their arrest in Texas, so all three of these guys were going to jail. What an interesting series of events. Easily the most eventful day off I’ve ever experienced.

Snake!

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 04:46:39 GMT

4-10-09

After a seriously windy night in Tulsa, and perhaps more trips to Sonic than any group of people should make in a 24 hour period, we left Liz (still unconvinced of her southern-ness) and headed for Camdenton, MO. I haven’t heard of it either!

It was pretty difficult to find the place. There was a somewhat random gravel road with a radio station at the end and the venue, The Warehouse, was behind that at the bottom of a small hill. Weird. I guess after we got there Josh, being the hippie that he is, went over to see what he could see at the radio station. He’s always walking around and meeting people. Apparently the dude there was a big dick and basically said, “I don’t have any time for you. There’s the door.” Wow. The voice of Christian radio in Missouri is a total douchebag. “There’s the door,” is like the least nice thing you can say to a person.

The Warehouse is a warehouse. Imagine that. It seemed like it would be a pretty decent enough show. Now, these shows were put together by a booking agent, and have contracts, etc. Fifty dollars was the budget for food for both bands. It was interesting to see the promoter pull the “I’m going to give them like ten dollars worth of food and keep the rest for myself!” gag. We got some poppyseed chicken. It was good, but one of the guys didn’t even get any. Also, if we wanted anything to drink we had to pay for cans of soda. There was bottled water, but if we had that we “wouldn’t have anything to drink on stage.” I know if Phil the Tour Manager was still with us the whole situation would have been a problem. I’m no rockstar, but don’t sign a contract if you aren’t going to follow it.

Unfortunately it also ended up being the worst performance of the whole tour so far. During the first song one of the strap locks on my guitar disassembled itself and my strap went flying. I didn’t miss a note, but I may as well have stopped playing since everyone was staring at me trying to see what I’d do. Aaron from My Epic tried his best to help me out. Apparently when I got my guitar case open and pulled out an alternate strap, it was wiggling around and he thought I’d pulled a live snake out of my case. It creeped him out for a few seconds before he realized what was up. For some reason that whole thing is absolutely hilarious to me. Like, if you went over to help a guy whose strap broke and for no reason at all he pulls a live snake out of his case. Ha!

Anyhow, we just couldn’t get it together during the whole set. It was definitely the worst job I’ve ever done singing. Maybe in any band, ever. I cringed multiple times. Each song was pretty rough.

After the show we drove to Warrensburg, MO and stayed yet again with Shane’s in-laws. Not bad.

Death Trip Rider

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 00:59:21 GMT

4-08-09

So, I haven’t updated in a while. This is simply because we haven’t played a show since Facedown Fest. Day two was about the same as day one, except there was no responsibility. I just stood on the side of the stage for most of the show.

We then spent a few days hanging with Jason who runs Facedown Records. It was pretty cool. Ate some great and crazy food, saw southern California, hang out. Not bad. I learned that I don’t care about the beach that much. It’s cool to see, but spending time there isn’t really for me.

Unfortunately a bunch of stuff fell through on our tour back, and we didn’t find out about it in time to get anything together ourselves, so we have two shows and 5 days to get us from California to Minnesota. Kind of a bummer, but it’s the nature of the beast sometimes. Part of me thinks it might have been more economical to drive straight home, but I know that I’d just be bored out of mind and would rather be doing this than sitting in Fargo.

We left California on Tuesday morning and drove all day to Scottsdale, AZ. In Blythe, CA there was a gas station with a room randomly placed near the entrance with a sign above that said “MASSAGE” Apparently you could get a massage. The room was weird, with a lone, ominous table in it and wet floors. Odd. We got to Scottsdale and I had what will be my final In N Out experience for a long time. It was great. Fortunately, JR the merch dude has friends that live in Scottsdale with whom we spent the night. We were only half way to our show in Albuquerque. I got there and conked out early.

We got up at 7am and rolled to Albuquerque. Roughly a 7 hour drive, plus a time change. We got to the venue, The Telos, to discover it is a Christian frat house. Weird. For some reason, although there were two locals, Hands was playing first. I suppose it didn’t really matter when we played. The turnout was ultimately pretty poor. It was an interesting venue and I had fun, though.

After our set I disassembled my stuff and walked to a 711. I was talking on the phone, so I wandered into a little area between the 711 and the neighboring building, where I found a 5 dollar bill. It was the first time I’ve ever just found money. There was one time I put 50 cents into a machine and instead of getting my desired balloon I got 1.75 in quarters. However, I don’t count that as “finding” money. That was being given money. Five dollars! Just sitting on the ground. Awesome.

I walked back and was talking to Shane near the van when the dude who had been running sound for the show came over and started talking to us. He looked kind of like Screech from Saved by the Bell and interestingly enough introduced himself as “Screech”. Weird. Anyway, he was a very nice guy. I told him how I found money for the first time and he reached in his pocket and gave my a handful of money. One dollar and seventy five cents to be exact. I tried a few times to give it back to him and for some reason he wouldn’t. So that day I made $6.75.

We decided to drive through the night to Tulsa, where we could have potentially stayed with our friend Liz, the southern belle. We hadn’t gotten word from her whether or not it was ok, but figured we’d make the trip anyway and if not we’d at least be most of the way to Friday’s show in Camdenton, MO. JR drove, I stayed awake. It was interesting. By 9am I had completely lost my mind. I was having thoughts that didn’t even make sense. I almost said one out loud but realized it didn’t remotely resemble a coherent idea. I didn’t care about anything but staying awake. JR was hopped up on 6 energy drinks. I had a McGriddles that was amazing. I wrote “What?“ on my arm. We ran into the band Attack Attack! at a gas station. I hadn’t heard them before, but JR had them on his iPod, so in our sleep deprived insanity we decided to cruise by them blasting their music. They didn’t seem amused. Probably because we looked like complete assholes. Finally around 10:30am we switched it up and I slept a little. We got to Liz’s and I crashed for several more hours. It felt good. That was intense. It was weird to see the remaining mileage on the GPS say 500, and look back at it and see it say 14. What a trip.

We’re currently at Liz’s house. We stayed here last time we were in Tulsa. Tomorrow we’ll drive a few more hours to Camdenton, MO. Only three more shows on the tour. Weird. I feel like the shows on the beginning of the tour were months and months ago already.

I’m not exactly excited to get home and deal with moving out of my apartment. Ugh.

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 16:22:24 GMT

4-03-09 - Pomona, CA

I’m going to skip the show on the 2nd in Scottsdale, AZ simply because it’s not really worth it. The show went well. It was in a church. There was free cake. That’s literally the most interesting stuff I can say about the whole day. Oh, I ate In N Out again. NICE.

After the Scottsdale show we drove about an hour out of town and pulled the Hotel Wal-Mart bit. I didn’t sleep very well because of the heat. Around 7 AM Josh woke up and started the drive for Pomona. I prejudged a dirty homeless looking guy at a gas station. Also I love frozen Cokes.

One big bummer is we found out some stuff fell through with the booking for our trip back to North Dakota, so we basically have two shows to get us back, both of them ridiculously far apart. I guess driving is inevitably more interesting than sitting around somewhere. We’ll make it. At the end of it all we have a show in Buffalo, MN and Bismarck, ND. I haven’t played in Bismarck in years.

Pomona seems like a nice place. We got to the Glasshouse and met Jason, who runs Facedown Records. Very nice guy. We got things figured out and loaded out stuff in. Fortunately bands were sharing a lot of gear so we managed to get 8 bands worth of stuff on the stage with room to spare.

The backstage area was pretty cool, and there were a ton of people hanging out from other bands on the label. I met some nice ones. Unfortunately there were so many people it became a handshake fest and I fear I won’t remember a good deal of names. Oh well. There’s also a good chance I will never see a lot of them again. Ha. There was also catering. Duh. I loved it. I even managed to eat the perfect amount of pre-show food. Success.

They opened doors at 5 PM and immediately there were a ton of people there. A TON. By the time My Epic started playing the place was pretty much packed. It was probably the 2nd biggest show I’ve played.

We played after My Epic and it went super well. It was the first time any of the Facedown staff had seen Hands live, so I was hoping to deliver. I may only be a hired hand (no pun intended) but I’ll be damned (ha!) if I don’t do my job well. Well, according to these guys I’ll be damned anyway, but I like to keep the bar high. Ya know? Anyhow, it went well and people went off and it was really fun. While we were tearing down three young guys in the front row called me over to tell me they thought I was awesome, and that the band was great. That was cool. Backstage I got some compliments on my voice, which are good because I am and will always be a totally self conscious singer. It’s good to know I’m not doing completely horrible out there.

I spent the rest of the night watching the other bands. While a lot of them don’t interest me personally I must say that no two bands that played sounded alike, and they were all talented groups.

During Sleeping Giant, the last and most militantly preachy band of the night, this guy in the front really bummed me out. I was watching from the side of the stage. I feel like if you’re going to be in the front row for the headliner of a hardcore show you need to accept the fact that things are going to get a little wild, and you are probably going to get touched. This guy couldn’t accept that fact. Any time a crowd surfer popped up, if they even just grazed his big poofy mop of hair, and started swinging. He looked like such an asshole. I saw him grab one guy by the neck. At one point a crowd surfer was being brought down over the barricade by a security guard and this kid was hitting the crowd surfer the whole time. When the surfer got down he looked back at him and he mouthed “Fuck you” to him. Fortunately after that I saw a security guard come over and talk to the kid. I don’t know what he said but it ended with the security guard pointing towards the exit. I assume he told him to cool it or he was getting thrown out. He should have been thrown out anyway. Appropriately, Sleeping Giant played a song about non-violence.

It was a fun and interesting day. Day 2 should be the same. We spent the night at Jason Facedown’s house. Some of you may remember him from Victory Records brutalions, No Innocent Victim.

Frisk

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:29:01 GMT

4-01-09 - Mesa, AZ

Waking up and taking a shower was the best feeling ever. I ended the longest stretch of not showering that I’ve ever had to endure. I’m sure 5 days isn’t that long for some people
but when you’re playing and getting super sweaty every day it’s pretty goddamn gross.

Josh’s grandmother made us a breakfast we couldn’t finish. I started eating out of guilt. Man, she wouldn’t stop making food! I can’t complain. It was great!

The venue ended up being maybe a mile from where we were staying. The Badlands Music Venue. Not a bad place. Every band got their own room, which was weird. It was just small empty room, but still. Finally a place to do all my illicit rockstar habits! Like trying to sleep on the floor.

Of course, this was yet another show with every band in the world on it. I think the final count was 8 or 9 at this one. Fortunately it wasn’t a giant clusterfuck (lack of a better term, there) like a lot of these giant shows can be.

Someone caught wind that there was an In N Out Burger nearby. I’d had it in San Francisco before and loved it. I know the stuff is probably horrible for you but I’m not going to let that stop me from having it when I’m near the west coast. Yeah! Animal style fries. Anyway, 14 of us hopped in War of Ages’ van and hit it up. I was still feeling the effects of the giant meal we’d had several hours earlier but endured. It was so good. Yeah I just devoted a paragraph to fast food.

Unfortunately this trip meant missing My Epic’s set but I suppose we’ll be them for a week and I’ll have plenty of time to see them.

We played and I felt like we did really well, but no one there was into it. All the bands that played kind of got that treatment. It was odd. I recall seeing one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen and the bored look on her face enraging me. During the end of the last song, Alex from War of Ages did a weird crab walk thing across the stage.

We said our goodbyes to Phil the Tour Manager who was flying out the next morning. I’ll miss that guy. He is a hilarious man.

We went back to Josh’s grandparents where we were greeted with more food, showers, and sleep. Nice.

Uninspired

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:05:22 GMT

3-31-09 - Albuquerque, NM

I tried my best to sleep for the remainder of the giant drive from San Antonio to Albuquerque. It was pretty hot outside so any time we stopped and the air conditioning turned off the van became a sweltering mess. I managed to get a few hours in. I had this dream that I went into the trailer and opened the case for my amp to find that the head was missing. In its place was some lame, cheap piece of garbage. I was about to rage. I woke up and we were at the venue. My gear was safe. Weird.

We started loading our stuff in and I was delighted the find the soundguy had Soundguy Syndrome. This is where a soundguy sort of gets off on the limited amount of power he obtains by coming a soundguy, but also makes sure to come across as a real hip dude. He gets you. He knows everything about rockin‘. He’s a soundguy, man. Check him out!

The venue was a cool place. They gave us pizza. I did feel bad for the guitar player in Hope for the Dying, Jack Daniels. (That’s his real name) He was meeting with a sales rep from Splawn Amplification, with whom he has an endorsement, in a room located upstairs at the venue. He came downstairs for a minute to get something and was told by management no one under 21 (Jack is 19) could go up the stairs. Weak. I don’t know if the guy just ended up waiting there or what, but I think it was worked out.

Honestly this one was pretty uneventful for me. I spent most of the show napping in the van. I was beat.

We played and I think I counted three people who seemed even remotely interested in what was going on onstage. After our 2nd song, just like San Antonio, the promoter came over and told us we had one more, two “at the absolute max.” So we played two. We didn’t drive half a day to play three songs.

I’m really enjoying the guys in War of Ages. They are all awesome and hilarious guys. I’ll miss them at the end of this.

We drove to Mesa, AZ to stay at Josh’s grandparents’ house.

MIGAS

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:01:55 GMT

3-30-09 - San Antonio, TX

Today I kind of realized I shouldn’t be such a little bitch about not showering and not staying in houses. It’s just how it is and I could easily be making hateful mochas in Fargo, so I’m not complaining.

We drove around San Antonio for a while, saw the Alamo again, did a river walk thing. I bought a sno-cone that threw me into financial ruin. It raised morale and blood sugar content. The only part about the Alamo that I cared about was the girl inside it who looked like Zooey Deschanel. Other than that the Alamo doesn’t interest me too much. I took a picture for a nice couple, which is funny because I feel like I’m totally not the guy you approach to take a picture of you and your girlfriend. Especially in my sweaty, dirty, miserable state.

We headed to the White Rabbit, where we played on the last tour, and loaded in. I could tell right off the bat something was going to go wrong at this show. There were 14 bands on the bill. Even though there were two stages with set times that alternated, something wasn’t going to go according to plan. I was right!

Alex from War of Ages highly recommended a place called Sam’s Burger Joint, so several of us hit it up. If I made a top 5 burgers I’ve had, I’d throw the original Sam’s burger in there. So good, and they brand the bun with “SAMS” It’s pretty cool. IT’S HUGE!

By the time it was our turn to play, the local bands on the bill had fallen behind the schedule, so the people in charge decided that the best solution was to cut the times of some of the touring bands. This included us. After two songs we were told we had one more. I believe we played for about 13 minutes. Easily the shortest set I’ve ever been a part of. Phil the tour manager was pissed. War of Ages were lamed out. We were pissed. Whatever. We got over it pretty quickly. What a joke.

We decided to caravan with War of Ages for the 13 hour drive we had ahead of us. We went to a diner, where I experienced migas for the first time. Tex-mex is awesome!

We drove into the night, me being the first driver, with JR staying awake with me. We had a pretty decent time. I needed to change drivers around 8:30am. Not a bad haul.

His daddy wuz a crackhead

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 23:46:22 GMT

3-29-09 - Abilene, TX

I woke up to discover that Abilene is completely desolate. There were multiple little strip malls with every store within closed down. It looked looked Silent Hill or something equally creepy and empty.

My favorite part of Abilene is there are no toilets in the town. I woke up having to pee, and walked across the street to the 711 which seems to be the only 711 in America without a bathroom. I walked back across the street to the Laundromat we were parked next to. No bathroom. Finally I walked down an alley sprinkled with gang graffiti and used the bathroom in a Church’s Chicken. I would have just pissed by the van but there were people around the Laundromat and the carwash next door.

We sat outside a Sonic to kill time. At one point a guy driving by yelled “Gnarly beards, dudes!” to which Josh replied, “Yeah, cowabunga, G!” Which might be the least hip sentence ever spoken.
By the time we got to the venue, The Key, I had to pee again. The venue was closed, and the promoter was late. Fortunately a guy running an art gallery next door invited us to use the bathroom. Awesome. I’m glad he did too because when the venue finally opened up the one toilet inside was clogged. What is the deal here?

My Epic, the band we will be making our way back to North Dakota with also played this show. They were nice guys, and a good band.

We haven’t been able to shower in several days now and it’s really hurting my morale. I hate feeling dirty.

After the show we went to Whataburger with War of Ages and Alex, their drummer, made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. I definitely needed it. After that we drove into the night to San Antonio, and pulled the whole Hotel Wal-Mart routine. I’m pretty much entirely sick of it, and I know I’m probably not going to get to shower until we stay with Josh’s grandparents in Mesa, Arizona which is on April 1st. Fuck that. My solace is the Latina hotties that will be at the San Antonio show, distant and unattainable.

Phil's keys

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:45:00 GMT

3-28-09 - Wichita Falls, TX

It was weird to wake up and have an hour until load in. Kind of a wasted day. The venue was just an American Legion Hall. Nine bands on the bill. Rough.

A bunch of us went to get some food. Somehow three of us, myself included, got food from Braum’s without having to pay. I got my sundae, and waiting quite a while for someone to ask me to pay for it. Finally I made eye contact with someone and they said “Have a nice day!” and I said, “THANKS!” and got the hell out of there. HOT FUUUUUDGE! Basically the same thing happened to two other guys.

This show was easily the weirdest show I’ve played while in Hands. It was at an American Legion, and you could drink at it. That was weird enough, but the legion of goateed sweet dudes and their crispy girlfriends was an even stranger addition. Chad, Cody, Bradon, Jaden, Aiden. I’m sure they were all there.

Sure enough, this show was a complete clusterfuck, which is a word I don’t generally use. After the second goateed local band (who apparently threw a fit about having to shorten their set) we discover that the next three bands aren’t even at the venue. Great. Another I’m having trouble understanding is bands who take 45 minutes to set up their stuff. It’s like, fuck you dudes. We and all the other bands can get our stuff on and off in like 5 or 6 minutes tops, because no one paid to stand around while you pull your pud on stage. Move!

The show went well enough, there were quite a few people who were obviously there to see War of Ages. We got a decent reaction. After we played some guy with an unfortunate haircut said “FUCKIN BAD BRO!” as I walked by him. I considered giving him a chest bump, but I didn’t.

We drove to Abilene, TX and slept at Hotel Wal-Mart. I feel dirty and want a shower.

Bead door

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:32:09 GMT

3-27-09 - Houston, TX

A pretty quick day. I like it that way. We woke up, drove to Houston, hit up Guitar Center for a bit, and loaded into the venue. I got a hold of my mother and was glad to hear that everyone in the family is doing ok in regard to the flood. It sounds pretty crazy up there. It appears that so far my place hasn’t been hit, and ideally won’t be. The mall is closed too. Of course the mall would only close when I wouldn’t be around to take advantage of not having to work there. Bastards!

We played the Java Jazz last time and just like The Max in Dallas, there were way more people there this time. The last time we were there, a guy working told us they were building a green room area for the bands that was going to have bunks to sleep in, showers, a weight room, all sorts of stuff. He even said it would be done by the next time we came. Naturally, when we got there we anxiously burst through the door to the exciting new green room area only to find a dumpy room with some old beaten up couches and the smell of pot lingering in the air. There was nothing new! NO bunks! No weight room! I was going to break competitive powerlifting records! I WAS GOING TO BE SOMEBODY. Instead I was going to wash my hands a lot.

There was a group of teenage girls, two of which appeared to be a couple, who weirded me out. Not because two of them were a couple, but because as I was walking towards Alex from War of Ages, he looked off to his right and whispered to me, “What is going on over there?” I looked over, and these girls were staring directly at us as they rubbed their own and each other’s asses and boobs. It wasn’t like they were into it or anything. They just stared at us with unwavering poker faces. It was surreal and unnerving. They left like half an hour into the show. I like to think that they paid specifically to perform that pseudo-sexual act in front of Jerik Hendrickson, former talk show host and all-around Renaissance man.

During Hope for the Dying’s set, their singer Josh fell and limped around the stage for the rest of the set. Later, after we had played, he showed me his ankle in the “new green room” and it was HUGE. It didn’t look good at all. I feel bad for the guy.

We played and during the first song my belts components fell apart and I spent the rest of the set trying to make sure my pants didn’t start to sag. It was absolutely awesome, but not as awesome as the end of my belt hanging down between my legs the whole time like some weird floppy fabric dong.

After we’d loaded our stuff off the stage, and kid came up to me to tell me he really enjoyed the set. He then told me I looked just like A Plea for Purging’s merch guy. I told him I hadn’t seen him, and his description was, “He’s this really big fat guy who walks around in a Speedo.” Oh. Thanks man. He may as well have said, “Hey, what’s up man, great set………….….ya huge fuckin’ fat guy!” In a Speedo no less! What a weird thing to say.

We decided to make the 6 hour drive that night and drove until morning. I stayed up while Shane drove, and we had some great talks. I didn’t even really have to struggle to stay awake. We got into Wichita Falls, TX and and proceeded to sleep on the hard wooden rack in the back of the van until 3 PM. A bundle of joy.

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:32:01 GMT

3-26-09 - Dallas, TX

After a lazy afternoon of half-sleep for all of us, and a good deal of news-watching to stay updated on the flood situation in Fargo, we went next door and loaded in to The Max. We played at The Max on the last tour. The place is phenomenal. A bunch of recording studios and a venue. The backstage area is so huge and posh it makes me feel extremely out of place.

Not a whole lot to report on this one. There were more people there than the last time we played, which I believe consisted of 28 people. Also, John, a dude who drove 40 miles by himself to see us in Waco on the last tour came out. Cool guy. Mysterious, though! Every time I want to talk to him he seems to have disappeared. Oh well.

The last time we played The Max I remember thinking it had been the best sound I had ever experienced on stage. This time wasn’t necessarily at that level but it was decent enough. Unfortunately we didn’t play the greatest set, either. I know by the time the first song got to my singing part, I was out of breath and plagued with dry mouth. I could tell I didn’t do the best.

One cool thing was the studio right next to the stage. All the mics on stage were split between the soundboard and the studio, so the mix in the studio wasn’t just what was coming out of the PA. The engineer had complete control of like 20 tracks. I watched War of Ages from inside. It was awesome. At one point he turned everything all the way down, and it was totally silent in the room as the band played away on the other side of the window. Weird. Later he played us some of our set, which sounded great. It would have been awesome if we’d played a phenomenal set. Apparently we could have purchased the tracks from him. A cool feature for sure.

After the show we ate and hung out with the other guys at the hotel. It was fun. I’m still working on getting Phil’s real age.

I know large parts of Fargo are now being evacuated. I hope everyone there is ok.

Ice cream cone

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:28:08 GMT

3-35-09 - Fort Smith, AR

In morning, the southern belles we stayed with made us breakfast. It’s funny because they’d both deny being southern, and nearly in the same breath say something like, “Y’all ‘r funny!” South!

It was my turn to drive, which is fortunately becoming less stressful. I worry about it since nothing in the trailer is technically mine, so if I make some grave mistake and crash or injure the trailer I will be extremely riddled with guilt. Fortunately it wasn’t a difficult drive and we made it fine. Fort Smith looks like a cool town, even though we drove right through the cool downtown part and ended up in what resembled an industrial area. The venue, The Regeneration had kind of a weird set up. It’s weird to me when some venues have the set up that they did, but try as I may I can’t seem to properly explain it. It was a decent enough venue. Haley, the promoter was a cool person. We reveled in our college-drop-out-ness.

This tour is interesting to me because it’s been booked by a booking agent. This means the shows all have contracts that include things like each band’s guarantee and food arrangements, etc. Typically we get a buyout, which means instead of the promoter providing food for the 18 people on the tour, they give each band the money equivalent. I think I like that better. Some places have given us great, great food but some have done the lackluster stack of cheap Little Caesar’s approach. Anyhow, Haley gave us our buyout and we went across the street to Dollar General, where I purchased some 95 chicken pot pies WHICH WERE DELICIOUS. There was water and soda for the bands at the venue, and we had been given breakfast back in Tulsa, so the whole I day I stayed fed and spent two dollars. I’m completely ok with that.

I am really enjoying Phil the tour manager. This dude is hilarious. He feels the need to keep everything in the dark, just to fuck with you. I still can’t get a straight answer about how old he is. Several people have said 24, but several have said 34. He also won’t tell me his last name. He insists it’s “Manager.” The second day we joined this tour, Josh asked him for his number. Phil claimed that his agent told him he couldn’t give out his number, but he could give Josh his agent’s number and if he called the agent and complained he could maybe get it. So he gave him this number, which in reality was just his own number, so when Josh called it he was free to completely mess with him. The guy is great. I’m having a lot of fun with him, and at this show he promoted me to Assistant to the Regional Tour Manager. Opportunity!

The kids at the show were great, and all the bands received a good reaction. A fight broke out during War of Ages’ set, which is so ridiculous. Fights at these shows are always over hardcore dancing. Could you imagine a room full of young people in the 60’s all doing The Twist? One kid bumps into another and a fight breaks out. How absurd would that scenario be? It’s the same load of bullshit at hardcore shows. I’m going to create a hardcore dance that involves me firing two pistols at the ground. If I accidentally shoot anyone, it’s not my fault I was just getting into the breakdowns, bro. Fuck.

We lined up a place to stay but eventually decided to just drive through the night to Dallas and get a hotel room. We hit up a Waffle House and caravanned with War of Ages. I slept on and off, and we rolled into Dallas around 8 AM. There was a Days Inn right next door to the venue. Perfect!

Nasty ass cream

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:30:39 GMT

3-24-09 - Tulsa, OK

We woke up and headed for Tulsa in the rain. I slept most of the way. The venue, The Pinkeye, which is allegedly Tulsa’s “premiere venue” was a punk rock hole in the wall. There wasn’t even enough room for bands to load their stuff in before they played. You had to load out your stuff next to the door during the band before you and then blast all the gear onto the stage right from the door. It was weird. Also, apparently last week someone destroyed the bathroom. “Vandalized the shit out of it,” as the sound guy put it. I wasn’t sure if he realized how clever it was to say someone “vandalized the shit out of” a bathroom. He then talked to me about the live Metallica album that was playing on the PA after he saw me singing along to “No Remorse.”

The show was technically sold out, which for The Pinkeye means they couldn’t legally have any more than 150 people inside. Either way, it made being in the tiny, unventilated room kind of a bummer. I spent most of the show out front, hanging out with the other guys on the tour. Good times. One guy who was at our show in Henryietta, OK on the last tour came to the show. He was nice and told me the venue we’re playing on the 25th is phenomenal.

We got in and played. Man it was hot! It was hot enough with all the people but then the burning bright lights sent me into sweaty pig territory. I didn’t play my best, but I think overall we did pretty well. I got some really nice compliments on my vocals, which always feels good since I might be the most self conscious singer ever. It was a good night.

Liz, who we stayed with in Tulsa last time, came to the show and let us stay at her place again. After the show we hit up a much needed Buffalo Wild Wings. I had a great time.

Twangipater

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:53:56 GMT

3-23-09 - Joplin, MO

There was a lot of hype before this show about how insane the venue, The Foundry, in Joplin, Missouri was. Just driving up to the building I figured out what everyone was talking about. This place was completely ridiculous. There’s a giant stage that’s about 35,000 feet off the ground inside a giant room with a soda bar. You could make all these crazy customized sodas, and bands could just roll in there and have everything for free. Past that room there was a rock climbing wall, basketball courts, a coffee shop, a skate park, and various other things that made me go, “Wow.”

We showed up and set up our stuff on the giant stage, which was big enough to allow all the bands to set up their gear in order of who was playing. Each band behind the other, etc.

I hit up the free soda bar and created a raspberry cheesecake spritzer. Later, when I’d overcome the diabetic shock that the first drink induced, I made a tropical island drink which I dubbed, “Death by Exposure” which consisted of coconut flavor, orange juice, Sierra Mist, and a splash of raspberry. Delicious. I threw on my diabetic socks and I was out of there!

The “green room” backstage for the bands had a flatscreen TV which was playing The Sandlot. Awesome. I watched a good deal of it.

Some people made a giant table of fajita components, which were delicious. Fortunately I managed to not eat too much. WHAT’S UP SELF CONTROL?!

A lot of people showed up. About 400 or so. It’s pretty cool getting to hop on this tour and play these larger shows. Having guaranteed food and backstage areas is definitely foreign to me. Not gorging myself is even cooler!

I feel like all the bands played really well. I was excited to see an old fashioned push pit. Most shows a big hole opens up and everyone does the boring old hardcore meathead thing. That was definitely going on at this show but there was a big group of people just shoving each other and hopping around. It reminded me of Minot shows circa 2000. Awesome! That sort of thing gets me way more stoked than some 300 lb sweaty dude pretending to toss an imaginary wad of pizza dough in the air.

After the show Josh from the band Take It Back offered his place to stay. We rolled in and got our sleep on. Sweet.

Takes my pain away

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:03:53 GMT

3-22-09 - Poplar Bluff, MO

Today marked the end of our stay at Shane’s in-laws and the beginning of our stint on the War of Ages “Arise and Conquer” tour. We found out right away that Destroy the Runner had to drop off the tour, so technically we are the “main support” act. I got the first all access laminate I’ve ever had. I don’t feel too lame about since we didn’t make them, and we actually have to have them at times. I always think it’s so dumb when some guy is sporting his backstage laminate that his band made for their tour that ended six months prior. Oh, you look so cool man. Did you use that to get backstage at the VFW hall? You must get around and stuff. Culture! Wow!

All the guys in the other bands (War of Ages and Hope for the Dying) are nice people. It should be fun playing with them. They are super metal, so we definitely kind of stick out, especially since Destroy the Runner isn’t on the bill anymore. I still think we’ll be ok.

The venue, The Well, was a cool place. A nice lady who appeared to more or less be running things made a ton of awesome food and I promptly ate too much of it. It was awesome. For some reason, in my head, I thought “I’d better drink a TON of water now.” By the time we hit the stage I was so full of food and water it’s a wonder a didn’t explode during our set. Somehow I chewed it back and we played well. I think a lot of people were expecting another metal band. There was a lot of people doing The Stand Still. But, two guys claimed they drove a few hours to see just us so I suppose that’s all that mattered.

After playing I somehow felt the need to eat even a little bit more and drink two more bottles of water. I don’t know why I was so thirsty. We left the venue and hit up Hotel Wal-Mart. I just could not get rid of this about-to-explode feeling. I wandered off into some shrubbery next to the Wal-Mart and puked up a swimming pool worth of bottled water. I was feeling a little low at this point, which was only worsened by the two pit bulls that began barking and running towards me. They were behind a fence, but I didn’t realize that until I was, as my mother might say, “ass over teakettle,” on my way the hell out of there. Awesome night!

I’d been elected to sleep on the crude shelf that’s inside the van which is essentially like sleeping on a piece of wood. This is because it IS sleeping on a piece of wood. Anyhow, I woke up at 7:30 AM with a pounding headache, my shoulder out of place, and a sore knee. I grabbed some Advil and hopped out of the van, only to realize RIGHT as I closed the door that I’d left my keys inside. I was locked out and everyone was sleep. Awesome. I knew we were planning on leaving around 9 so I wasn’t going to freak out about it. I went into the Wal-Mart, took my Advil, had a McGriddles (read: the world’s most poisonous sandwich), pretended to shop, and sat on the curb next to the van until Josh woke up and let me use his key. The previous 12 hours were a great success!

NOMNOM

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 03:08:21 GMT

3-20-09 - Blue Springs, MO

Another show at The Link. Definitely refreshing since we haven’t had a show in a few days. Lots of cool people at this show, and I’m not being my usual sarcastic self. Mallory was there and she makes me laugh. Good to see her. I had a good time hanging out and talking music. I think I made have gotten a few people to check out Bongripper, and in return I checked out Harvey Milk. Interesting stuff for sure. Thank you Missouri Adam. Anyway, The Link wasn’t much different from the last time we played there. A decent amount of people came; we played on the floor and not the stage. I think the sound in that place is just weird. Both times I’ve been there I’ve felt like my amp has sounded really harsh. Oh well.

At one point a kid came up to me to comment on my Shook Ones shirt, saying that he heard one of them recently died. Fortunately, this helped me get back in touch with Kelly to make sure he is alive. I love that guy. Turns out the kid was mistaken. Whew.

The first band perplexed me because they had a guy on stage with a bass, but it wasn’t plugged into anything. There was no amp. The cord just sat on the floor. I started watching him, and I don’t think he knew how to play bass. It was weird. I couldn’t stop watching him. Strange.

After the show a bunch of people went to a Mexican restaurant called Pancho’s and I proceeded to have the most amazing burrito I have ever had. I ordered the fish burrito, which I’m sure a ton of people thought was gross because they are close minded and scared of living a full life. It was amazing. I wish we could go back. SO GOOD.

Unfortunately that’s all there is to report on this one. I know I said I’d make this time around funnier, but when nothing too funny happens, etc etc etc.

One thing to note is a few days ago I got sick and threw up. I wasn’t sure what was wrong. The next day I slept for most of the day and felt like crap. The day after that I realized the mayo in the fridge (We’ve been staying in Warrensburg, MO for the last several days) had expired August 2007. I think that’s why I became Pukendrickson. Tangy!

Dog will hunt

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 07:10:28 GMT

3-16-09 - Salina, KS

This day marked my first experience driving the band for any serious amount of time. It went well, and I didn’t crash or damage anything. Sweet. The chick who lives inside the GPS is a total asshole, though. I’m sick of her voice.

We came to Salina on the last tour. This is another instance where the first time through was a freezing, frost-bitten ordeal and the second time was cozy as all get out. I guess the fact that this venue had heat is the main improvement. There were six bands on the bill. Big bills like that are hit or miss with me. This one was ok because it actually went quickly. I’m not a fan of the 90 hour show, where by the time the last band takes the stage everyone is riddled with The Show Knee or The Show Back and can’t even hold interest. It was cool to not play extremely late even though we were the last band.

Nothing too interesting happened before we played. I did some blog entries, re-Velcroed my pedal board, took a multivitamin, etc. Really intense stuff.

While we played I was totally distracted. A super tan, super skinny girl decided that right in front of me was a prime location to not only send text messages non-stop for the whole set, but also to sit on the stage facing AWAY from the band. Wow. I mean, texting during a show is all good, whatever, it’s the 90s. I get it. But to me, sitting on the stage and facing away from the band says to me, “I am here because my boyfriend is here. I don’t care about anything going on onstage.” If that’s the case, you shouldn’t be so close. Go somewhere else if you can’t give enough of a damn to face the band. The stage isn’t a bench for the bored, Leatherface. When rocking out I generally have a certain regard for people in the front and the fact that I might sweat on them. Not tonight. I had my aim set. I wanted to rain down on that girl and get her out of there. My sniping was to no avail, however. She stayed in her spot, facing away from me, the whole set. What a cool chick!

Oh well, aside from the crispy chick it was a great show. It was cool to see Kansas Erin, who is a solid person. Unfortunately we didn’t get to hang out. We went straight from the show to Warrensburg, Missouri. We got there at 4:30 in the morning. I didn’t mind. I stayed awake while Shane drove and we had a super good conversation the whole way. Awesome. He’s a rocker, through and through.

I’m writing this from Shane’s in-laws’ house in Warrensburg. We’ve been here for a few days practicing new songs. They will be recording them as soon as this tour is done. These haven’t been too bad as far as days off go. I’ve stayed pretty occupied, even when the internet doesn’t work. I also haven’t spent any money, since Shane’s mother-in-law is awesome and has taken great care of us. I’m excited to get going again and join this tour package, which should mean bigger shows and bigger venues.

LO-CO

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 18:16:18 GMT

3-15-09 - Atlantic, IA

Once again I woke up before everyone, except some members of Greg the Hero who, apparently, don’t sleep. Seriously. They didn’t go to sleep. It would make more sense if they were a black metal band. Initially I thought about not sleeping on tour, but instead I’ve paid a mailing service to ship my Jerik-sized coffin around the country so I can sleep comfortably.

Katie on Wagons made us breakfast. I love food. We sat around for quite some time, since Atlantic wasn’t too far away. Lots of laughs with the Pagans on Wagons crew. Katie attempted to teach Shane and I some sweeping arpeggio patterns, but since neither of us know how to play guitar, a lot of it was over our heads. She then played the solo section of Master of Puppets. I puked and had a seizure. Phenomenal.

Nichole on Wagons hooked us up with some coffee beverages, and after some “I work in a coffee shop and hate everyone” bonding, we all rolled to Atlantic, IA.

Those of you that read this blog might remember Atlantic as the place where I slept in a cat piss infested hell hole. I also stepped on turds with my bare feet. Basically I had a whole lot of fun. The dude we stayed with happened to be at the show. He had a question for Josh, who thought it would be funny to redirect the question towards me. So this guy is talking to me, and of course I couldn’t answer his question, etc. But, he informed me that he found my videos online and found them very funny. This was weird to me since last time through he heard I made comedy videos and said that was weird since, “I’m not funny” and also referred to me as “funny guy.” Maybe I’m way off but I feel like “funny guy” is a phrase reserved for jerks, and generally comes right after a question like “Ya wanna go.” But, whatever. I guess I’m hilarious. I still don’t like cat piss.

The show was great. The Teen Twister (Yeah I know) is a small place, but our new stage arrangement had me feeling like I had way more room to move around. There weren’t as many people there as last time, but the response was awesome. Unfortunately I felt myself make The Crazy Eyes twice during our set. I don’t think I’ve ever done this, and in my book, The Crazy Eyes are a serious, serious no no. If you don’t know what The Crazy Eyes are, you must simply refer to any 1990’s nu metal act. For instance, Limp Bizkit. Ok, now imagine their guitarist, Wes Borland. Ok, he’s playing. What’s that? Why has he cocked his head to the side? OH NO! HIS EYES! HE’S DOING THE CRAZY EYES!!!!!! Bummer.

We said our goodbyes to the Pagans on Wagons crew and headed to Omaha to stay with
Lauren Turner, who gave us a place to stay last time through. Once again she made me a beautiful boy. Thank you, Dr. Turner.